Bare Bellies, Big Bombs

2009 BAB season finally resumes

SANTA CLARA, 3/1/09: February 15 was rained out; BAB had no hope of playing through those swampy conditions. There was no game on February 22, either, although there should have been as the expected rainy forecast turned out to carry far more bark than bite. Would yet another rainy Sunday put BAD ASS Baseball even farther back? No---though it forgot that for one week, this IS BAD ASS Baseball.

Exhibition

"YOU OWE ME A HOME RUN, Andraesen!"

Notes from this game are somewhat scarce due to wet conditions.

Flores and Lynas captained the two squads; oddly, even though Flores had first pick somehow he ended up as the home captain as well---a fact he himself questioned halfway through the game. Playing through sporadic, but easily playable light showers, RDJ got the early jump on the GMen, who were unable to turn two routine 1st-inning grounders into outs and paid for it when Holley singled a run home. Kuzmiak roped a 3-run homer in the 2nd to advance the RDJ lead to four runs.

Andraesen duplicated Kuz' feat in the bottom half to cut it back to 4-3. By the end of the 5th, GMen held a 9-5 lead.

In the 6th, RBI doubles by Lynas and Yow brought RDJ two runs closer. In the bottom of that inning the GMen would erupt for 7, including a strange 2-run homer by Andraesen that could barely even be heard in the home dugout; at least 2 GMen wondered if he'd even hit it out of the infield.

Now down 16-7, RDJ refused to quit. In the 7th, Holley, who finished 6-for-6 on the day, bombed a 2-run home run to left center supplemented by an RBI triple by Chowdhury. They then held RDJ 1-2-3 in the bottom of the 7th. With their big hitters due up and momentum swinging their way, RDJ could only manage one 8th-inning run and trailed 16-11.

Flores' squad took a wise approach---put men on for Andraesen. Enjoying the hottest start of his young career, the big leftfielder crunched another 3-run bomb that literally scraped the CF fence (leading to the headline quote from CF Yow)! It still counted, however, and soon Bernal's RBI double added more insurance. 20-11 would be the GMen lead entering the 9th. RDJ eventually put on two runners and Kuzmiak, 6-for-6 on the day as well, grounded to third.

Once Bush fielded the ball and jogged to third, all RDJ could hope for was a muddy stumble.

Bush didn't stumble.

"If anyone can find it, it's Sac. After all, he IS the Easter Bunny." -- Bernal, as Matsui and others searched for a foul ball buried in deep right-field grass.

NO TEETH

For losing to Chowdhury 3-2 at Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2007 in their closing days as roommates, Davis was forced to play in the frilly shirt. The 300-lb. vet's physique is far from chiseled, and teammates and opponents alike would shudder and develop nausea if looking at him directly. Failing to capture the frilly magic (1-for-5), a desperate Davis removed his shirt entirely, and pants, taking his final AB in only sliding pants and singling hard to LF! Sacramento was especially bothered by the experience and would do his best to avoid his teammate the whole day, even hiding his eyes while pitching to him at one point.

Flores also donned the shirt after failing to record more hits in 2008 than Matsui, who gently reminded him of the bet. Rob had better luck than did Skillz, going 4-for-6 with an RBI, triple and 3 runs scored.

AWARDS AND HIGHLIGHTS

Andraesen, who could be MVP if the season ended today, finished 5-for-7 with 3 bombs and 8 RBI to earn BAD ASS of the Day. If that weren't enough he also made a tough sliding catch to squelch the RDJ 1st-inning threat (victimizing Lynas) to claim Gold Glove. RDJ SS Holley would take it too; among his fine plays was a 2nd-inning 6-3 putout on Matsui, something very rare at Goodson Field especially.

Garewal, back for more after a 2-game dip in 2008, didn't look good at all as he struck out 3 times (one via pitch limit) and also misplayed a routine fly ball to CF into an RBI triple. He would be saddled with the Small Penis award.

As mentioned, both Kevins began 6-for-6 for RDJ until Kuzmiak's game-ending forceout. For the GMen, Matsui finished with 3 doubles and 4 RBI, while Sacramento shook off an 0-for-3 start to close 4-for-4 with 3 runs.

MORE NOTES

• Chowdhury, Sacramento, and Bernal (twice) also struck out; Sacramento had gone the entire 2007 and 2008 seasons without whiffing.
• The 2nd strike of Bernal's 2nd K turned heads---and also simultaneously endangered them. Big Tits lunged and lost his grip on the bat as he swung, sending his stick helicoptering towards the home bullpen. There would be no casualties.
• Aside from the Kevins' 12-for-13, the other RDJ batters combined for 13 hits in 32 trips. Manning's 7th-inning AB would be especially frustrating for him, as the loud commotion in the visiting dugout following his leadoff out indicated.
• Somehow, Bernal was forgotten at home and had to be retrieved by Yanez, forcing the GMen to play with no catcher in inning #1. Bush was also on the late side, rolling up from work just about 5 minutes before game start---hence his low position in the batting order.
• Andraesen and Flores will captain the upcoming series. After each of Andraesen's home runs Flores would congratulate him and declare "Gettin' it all out of his system now", or a similar variation.
• BAB used a mix of plastic/leather balls, leading to requests such as "pitch the good balls first", etc. throughout the afternoon.
• Following the game, Lynas, Bush, Yow and Flores defeated Wagner, Yanez, Matsui and Chowdhury in a game of football. The squads were picked and "coached" by Davis and Bernal, respectively. They did not play but did officiate. JD

"What the hell, Tito? You got gloves on!"

"Did you drink Jobu's rum?"  -- Kuzmiak and Matsui, respectively, after Bernal's bat flew out of his hands.

"Kick back, Skillz!" -- Yow to Manning after his tirade in the dugout.

·      us

* Players of the Week *

BAD ASS of the Day 

Stoph Andraesen, GMen

5-for-7, 3 HR, 8 RBI

Gold Glove

Stoph Andraesen, GMen

Kevin Holley, RDJ

Small Penis

Jimmy Garewal, RDJ

2-for-6, 2 K, PLK, misplay in CF