BAD ASS History

For the last 7 years, a group of friends, friends-of-friends, colleagues, and in some cases total strangers get together and play America's pasttime not for dollars, not for press, not for stature, but for reasons sometimes lost on the big leaguers--sheer love of the game.

It is not conventional baseball--in most cases there are not enough players to play 9-on-9.

When both teams can field 7-8 players, BAB uses a C, 1B, SS, 3B, LF, CF and a buck short (BS) who ventures anywhere from just below the outfielders to a third infielder position--some would call him a free safety if he played deeper--depending on the batter's tendencies. When RH hitters are up, RF becomes foul territory. When LH hitters are up, LF becomes foul territory.

Teams are pitched to by their teammates, overhand but slowpitch, kind of like warmup or BP tosses. You may think that means Home Run Derby, but while the average BAB score is in the high teens, time has proven it is not as easy to hit as one would think...though it is pretty easy for some. Only 8 individuals have ever smacked more than 20 homers in a season out of over 70 who have played (of course, a good chunk of that 70 didn't even reach 20 games)

There are other BAB rules that you'll only see here--errors are not errors, they are hits, no matter how egregious (though in '04 errors were kept). Foul-tips caught by the catcher (in 7-on-7 plus games) are outs, regardless of count. No tag-ups, steals or even leadoffs. In fact, defenders can attempt to double off runners, throw errantly--and the runners STILL cannot advance!

Some fields have permanent fences. Some don't--so BAB adopted an orange, portable fence similar to the ones used on construction sites.

At some fields, the league has the option of using authentic, plug-in-the-ground bases. At others, it is forced to use the plastic bathmat type. Whenever the former are used, a bathmat base is also used at 1B for safety.

The youngest superstar is 23, the oldest is 36, but most guys fall right around 27-32. New players join from word-of-mouth from existing players; there is no actual recruitment done. The league has few if any restrictions on who can play--while not all are at the same skill level, it is at least hoped that those who participate have swung a bat at sometime in their life and are familiar with the basic concept of baseball.

If one team has 7+ but the other has 6 or less, the catcher becomes ineligible to catch popups or foul-tips, though he can still back up a play or receive a throw. The depleted team's 1B will have to cover home when necessary. Teams with this predicament don't usually win, as they allow about 5-10 extra runs by not having a C alone. (For more rules, click here.)

Umpiring is generally done using the honor system--those with the best views make the tough calls. BAD ASS calls, while not always perfect, are never intentionally deceptive; the league prides itself on that honesty.

In rare cases there have been designated umps, but not even those fully deter the passionate arguments that have come to be a BAB staple. It is a mandate that after every game, all players shake hands with their opponents on-field...just a reminder that BAB is just a group of ordinary guys playing a game for fun.

How are stats tracked? By the hitting team--whoever's not batting, on deck, or pitching will observe and keep track, and pass it to another when it's his turn at-bat. Of course, back in the day, things were different...

These days, if anyone were to attend a BAB game, they'd see as many as 22 BAD ASS's goin' at one another. This was definitely not the case in the early days of BAD ASS Baseball. "Shoot, we had guys with the (stat) clipboard runnin' around the bases!" recalls BAB legend Minor, one of a handful of BAD ASS originals still with the league that includes Leland Yow, Flores, Eddie DaRosa, Joel Stauffer, Tito Bernal, Greg Lynas, and Soonam Chowdhury. At the very beginning (2002), BAB was just a few guys playing some ball on Sundays to pass the time.

The verdict of that trial: we want more. As per the urging of Cav Manning, who hooked up with the infant league during the first season, a 40-game season, awards and full statistics were adopted for 2003 (the league only tracked homers in 2002). Teams were chosen on-field before each game; there was no drafting yet.

Awards such as "MVP" (later changed to BAD ASS of the Day), "Gold Glove" and "Small Penis" (for those who played poorly, otherwise embarrassed themselves during the game, or didn't show up at all) would be named after each game by majority vote of the players. Also, with Yow the editor and Flores and Bernal as statisticians, the league's website debuted (which you must be at now if you're reading this) with features such as stats, player bios, and weekly recaps of each completed game. When the season began, Lynas, Flores, and Bernal surprised the ranks with a sparkling, hand-built scoreboard that, through paint jobs and other modifications, remained in use for almost 4 full seasons. "I think it's about time for a new one," laughed Lynas when reminded of the memory; he got his wish in late 2006.

During that 2003 season, a number of "BAD ASS Moments" took place, moments that still bring smiles--or frowns--to the veterans' faces. After one contest, Minor and Yow were named co-Small Penis as both struggled at the dish and with the gloves. While Yow laughed the award off, an angry Minor felt it was unjust, and he sat out the next ten games in protest before finally returning. Mike Miceli earned a lifetime Small Penis for a cowardly play at 2nd base. As he ran from first, Jason LaRose--a former college pitcher with a rifle of a right arm--gunned him down at second base, and the frightened Miceli darted into centerfield for safety!

"That in itself wouldn't have been so bad, but he squealed like a girl while (he ran)...too funny." -- Lynas

Another BAD ASS moment from the '03 season: Outfielder Dave Del Real was excellent defensively and a good hitter--he just didn't hit any homers. As the story goes, he went camping with a friend (who briefly played in the league) who wondered why Dave never hit homers. Del Real insisted he could and said he would the next week just to show him. And that's exactly what happened! Del Real went on to hit 8 homers that year and, though Lynas had more first place votes, won first place in Season Gold Glove voting by killing Lynas in 2nd place votes.

Early stars in the league included DaRosa (who'd been voted MVP of the abbreviated 2002 season, he was bar none the league's best player back then) Manning (who set BAB records with 50 homers and 225 RBI in '03) Yow (who set the hits record), Flores, and when he played, Minor. DaRosa enjoyed both a 6-homer game as well as a streak of 20 straight hits (both marks have since been matched but never topped).

The silhouette of another early star, Dave Hatfield, is the one you see in BAB's official logo--permanently etching him in the league's history despite his only playing the 2003 season.

"No matter what else I do, at least I can say I'm the one who introduced Dave to BAD ASS Baseball." -- Chowdhury

At the midpoint of the season, the league took something of an All-Star Break--actually, it held a Home Run Derby and an exhibition, no-stat contest known as the Backwards Game in which all righties had to bat lefty! Not only that, but everyone had to run to third instead of first, as well as play out of position defensively (third basemen in the OF, outfielders at catcher, etc.) The contest was so popular that it became an annual event. B-Rid beat DaRosa in the final round to win the first annual BAD ASS Home Run Derby.

With each passing month, the league was growing--except for the number of participants.

5-on-5 games were the norm, and 4-on-4 were certainly not out of the question. In fact, it was in 2003 that most of BAB's records were set for the simple fact that the same guys batted over and over again. One player, Nick K., finished his BAB career with 27 AB's in two games! A host of others played a handful of games (or less), never to be seen again. It was getting harder and harder to find guys who were truly BAD ASS, but the league fought on.

A large percentage of the league's games were played at Columbus Park in San Jose, better known as Taylor. It was at Taylor that Bernal, while playing BS, stepped in a hole and broke his ankle, immediately becoming a BAD ASS legend when he trooped on and finished the game before seeking treatment! He would miss the final month of the season while his ankle healed.

The inaugural BAD ASS Awards Banquet was held at Wing's Chinese Restaurant at the completion of the first 40 game season. Awards included MVP, Gold Glove, Most Improved, and the All BAD ASS Team. The highlight of the event was Manning's MVP acceptance speech, which was a recital of DaRosa's infamous "Peace Punk" Smackboard post to rookie Josh Blackford--the latter having previously offended DaRosa when claiming he'd take the MVP away from Manning in 2004 despite the small facts no 2003 MVP had yet been named and that Manning and DaRosa were both strong contenders for it.

It was also at this time that Yow created the first BAD ASS t-shirt which appropriately read, "Scoring is Easy."

Despite the revolving door of players, BAB was thriving--yet it was still missing something. That something was a certain level of competition.

While most, if not all, players played hard and gave everything they had to win, winning didn't mean much once the particular game was over.

There was no viable way to play for a team championship, as there were never more than two teams.

So the league came up with a solution: The 40-game season would be comprised of best-of-seven series, with any remaining games to be played as exhibitions. Captains would be selected by random selection of names in a hat; the process has graduated to Easter Eggs in a hat. (Initially, everybody was eligible, but after rookie Eric Valdez was selected to captain Abe's Army--a debacle in which he showed to one game--rookies became unofficially exempt from the selection process for the next 4 years.)

That week, captains would draft players from the pool of BAD ASSes who'd played in the previous series. First-time or undrafted players had to show up in the first game of a series in order to be eligible for the rest. If potential newcomers/undraftees found out about the league mid-series, they had to wait for its' conclusion in order to play.

The first overall series pitted the 2003 All-BAD ASS team (the league's top 7 players as voted by the league's members) against the 2003 Scrubs team (everyone else). As expected, the ABA team squashed the Scrubs in five games. The first ever drafted series pitted DaRosa's Reds against Del Real's Steel Vaginas; four other series took place that season. LaRose, not just talented on defense as indicated, won the Home Run Derby. A rule change: No longer would a batter be called out on two fouls. He now had three swings to make fair contact, and failure to do so would result in a K. Errors were now tallied as well.

Though Hatfield was no longer with the league, a new star, Torance Matsui, arrived in his stead. The 18-year-old took the league by storm from the get-go, leading BAB in multiple statistical categories and setting a one-season record for batting average (broken a year later). Fourteen other newbies debuted that season, but only Matsui and Bryan Bush remain BAB regulars today. During the 2004 season Blackford (who had learned of the league through the wife of Lynas in '03 and given it a try) was a top slugger in BAB (43 HR, 3rd-highest in history), though he wasn't always popular amongst his peers.

Another Taylor-injury that bears mentioning: Early in the 2004 season, Minor provided BAB with new, installable bases. The first time they were used, second base would not come out of the ground! Player after player took his turn trying to lift it, with no success. Eventually, the entire metal block where the base is installed had to be dug out--but not before Manning wrenched his back and had to be aided to Padron's car and driven home!

"I had to go to the chiropractor every day for a couple of weeks. I could barely move my legs." -- Manning

Other events from 2004: The infamous Sac vs Soonam play at home that became the first website video (back then, the domain was badassbaseball.tk), Flores' "Catch that one, Muthafucka!" homer in response to a rookie centerfielder, Malachi, who was taunting him, and Chowdhury's 2-homer game--eerily significant not only because they were his first two career, but because of his descent, the date (September 11), and the fact that planes routinely fly over Taylor en route to the Mineta Airport.

But the two most memorable happenings are the reasons why Taylor--at least, the small field--is no longer in use.

First, Manning smashed a passing car's windshield on the fly with a HR! (An elderly woman inside was reportedly terrified to tears). A short while later, Matsui wrapped up his rookie campaign by cracking a passing windshield with a HR on a bounce in the season's last game.

"After I hit it, we see a guy walkin' (onto the field) with a baseball in his hands. I was like 'OH SHIT'." -- Matsui

Though insurance handled both incidents, the league decided enough was enough, and so came an end to the three-season stint at Taylor's small field (though the large field has since been used as a backup).

Game 39 of the 2004 season was one only a few witnessed. On the same day both the Oakland A's and San Francisco Giants were eliminated from playoff contention, only 6 BAD ASSes showed up to Gill Park in Milptas. Out of desperation, those who did show up to play decided to play anyways. Manning, Minor, and Blackford defeated Yow, Chowdhury, and Bernal 14-12. How do you play 3 on 3 baseball? The defensive team fielded two outfielders and a shortstop, while the player from the other team who was not hitting or pitching played 3rd base. Stats became confusing with all the "ghost runners." BAD ASS rules were later changed to prevent another BAD ASS debacle from being played.

Matsui won Rookie of the Year along with MVP, while Bernal took Most Improved honors. Manning, Lynas and Minor earned Gold Gloves.

Rule/stat changes in '05: BAB now kept track of runs scored. Though it was often hard to keep them balanced, in the end Flores and Bernal recorded all 1,430 runs and RBI from the 2005 season. Errors were no longer kept, and weekly awards such as Small Penis were junked, as some players scoffed at either the voting process or the fact that they were/were not winners.

However, the game was the same. Turnout was booming--the days of 4-on-4 were long gone. Now playing primarily at Santa Clara High School, the All-BAD-ASS team lit up the Scrubs to the tune of 56-10, setting records for runs scored and run differential. But the big story of 2005 would come in the following series, Bernal's Dirty Sanchez against Yow's Cleveland Steamers.

In that series, the Steamers took a commanding 3-1 lead against the Sanchez, who were hurting from Del Real's sore wrist and Blackford's defensive slump. In the 5th game, the team tried to change their luck by painting mustaches on their faces with eyeblack--everyone except for Blackford, whose attitude towards the eyeblack and a position switch to catcher prompted two of his teammates to publicly urge him to hang up his cleats forever.

Boosted by a late homer by Skillz Davis and the sensational SS glove of Bush (both rookies), the team won the 5th game, and continued to don the eyeblack. Down to their last out in Game Six, Davis doubled, Minor singled, then Flores drove both home, and before anyone knew it the series was knotted at 3!

On their heels, the Steamers held an early practice before Game 7, which was played at Gill Park rather than the scheduled Milpitas High. It turned out to be for naught--the Dirty Sanchez pulled off the unthinkable by becoming the first team to come back from a 3-1 deficit and win in BAB history! Right in the dugout, the octet joined in a champagne--yes, champagne--soaked celebration. To this day, players from either side are identified as a Sanchez or a Steamer. It is many players' most memorable BAD ASS moment. Game 7 would turn out, for a while anyway, to be the final games of Blackford and Lynas' careers--the former moved away, and the latter decided to spend more time with his family.

Dirty Sanchez

Cleveland Steamers

Tito Bernal - Captain

Rob Flores

Cav Manning

Greg Minor

Josh Blackford

Dave Del Real

Bryan Bush

Skillz Davis

C.T.

Leland Yow - Captain

Torance Matsui

Greg Lynas

Greg Sacramento

B-Rid

Joel Stauffer

Al Padron

Soonam Chowdhury

Rick Flores

The series also introduced Manning's newest weapon: The Puss Hit, which he uses to this day.

By the time August rolled around, it was time for Flores to finally become a captain. His Reservoir Donkeys took on Chowdhury's Tsunami Terrorists--the team name coupled with Flores' military background led to mass trash-talking on the Smackboard in the days leading up to Game One. It seemed the Donkeys' roster was more formidable than that of the Terrorists, but they got a huge offensive boost from newbie Ryan Ledeit that helped them split the first four games of the series. In that 4th game, Davis (of the Terrorists), unhappy with his play, quit in the middle of the game; innings later, rookie teammate Steven Rebetrano broke his ankle while sliding into home, and didn't play again for 18 months. Though the Terrorists still managed to defeat the Donkeys that day, Flores' team crushed them in both ends of a doubleheader the next week.

Another notable for that series: Flores was able to coax Lynas out of retirement to play for the Donkeys.

The 2005 season, however, would conclude in a thud. BAB seemed at its peak merely weeks earlier with healthy player turnout, lovely weather, lovely fans, and tough competition--however, the NFL season was starting. The combination of moving games to Saturday and Rick Flores' drunken draft forced the league to suspend the Torance's Testes Takers/Rick's Orphans series (with TTT leading 2-0) due to lack of player turnout. Problem was, there were still eight games left on the docket.

The BAB faithful tried to finish 40 by playing a host of 5-on-5 or 6-on-6 exhibitions that were mostly enjoyable, in large part because of DaRosa's return; he'd missed almost the whole season while away in San Diego. As the weeks went on, it became harder and harder to scrape together even ten guys on a Saturday. Finally, after 3 men showed up for the season's 38th game, 2005 was called. Yow, Ridley, Alvin Trinh, Brandon Hamilton and Matsui took on Manning, Bernal, Flores, Bush and Davis in a "Semi-Steamers/Sanchez...sorta" exhibition match up the next week--the 39th and 40th games were cancelled.

In the off-season, BAB addressed two very serious issues, among others: finances and pitch limits. Over the course of its history, BAB members were never officially charged to play, but donation "pots" would be passed and most members would contribute what they could for new balls, fence posts, the season-ending banquet, etc. By the end of 2005, the league realized some guys were contributing far more $ than others to the league.

After majority vote, BAB mandated each returning veteran, except Bush (who generously put in $80 the previous year) chip in at least $20 after the first series with Minor, now league Commissioner, doing the collecting. Anyone who failed to do so would be ineligible to play. Newcomers would be given a game to play for free, but once that free game was played, they had to put in $20 or be ineligible.

Throughout BAD ASS Baseball's history, there had been unlimited pitches with which to take three swings. Some guys were known for standing at the plate through a dozen pitches, then going yard. Some pitchers would goof off on the mound throwing knuckleballs or whatever else they felt like doing. It drove many of the league's members crazy, especially those on defense. In '06, however, a 6-pitch limit was instituted--failure to put the ball in play after six pitches, no matter where they were, would result in a PLK (Pitch Limit K).

"Before, if a guy wanted to go yard, the only person who could stop him was himself. He had all the time in the world to get his pitch. Now we can 'defend' against it." - Davis

Absences put many players who would have been ABA candidates such as Lynas, DaRosa, Collins and Greg Sacramento onto the Scrubs team instead. Many felt they had a chance to upset the ABA team for the first time in its history. Alas, the Scrubs were still swept despite its star power.

With the exception of Ledee and Collins' 4-HR game, the long ball vanished from BAB's arsenal--especially top bombers Manning and Matsui--during much of the middle part of the year. The new PLK rule proved invaluable in speeding up games, but likely factored a bit into the lack of power--players didn't always have the luxury of sitting on the perfect toss. Also, ugly weather in the first two 1/2 months of 2006 definitely played a role. Towards year's end, more balls began to sail out of the parks again, especially in the season finale. Ledeit ended up with 26 as the only BAD ASS to reach double digits.

The league used 8 different fields during the first 8 weeks before settling on Santa Clara's Goodson Field as a regular home. Though some were turned off by the neglected park, most were glad to just have somewhere they could play and not get the boot, and that was no serious threat to houses or cars. Eventually, BAB pulled in its left field fence in front of the poles to help reduce the danger they present--creating a "short porch" that played a lot fairer than many thought it would.

Concerned about the lack of competitive series in 2006, which in part was due to sporadic attendance by many league members, for the first time BAB named two captains without using the random selection process: Davis and Brandon Hamilton.

The two sophomores had played 3 prior exhibitions against one another, and though Davis was undefeated, all three were competitive and close (in fact, two were walkoff wins) and BAB hoped for more of the same. To make things very interesting, the captains--who aren't strong defensively and usually play C, 1B or DH--agreed to be the full time left fielders for their teams! Some players strongly objected, but in the end the LF arrangement lasted one game (and another at BS) due to Hamilton's absences; his Big Bats were swept convincingly by Team Dexterity.

BAD ASS legends DaRosa and Manning went head-to-head for the HR Derby Championship June 18, with DaRosa coming out on top.

A week later, Lynas' NumbNutz took on Manning's McGillicuttys. After taking a 2-0 series lead, the Nutz' offense tanked miserably, allowing the Cutz to roar back and eventually force a 7th game, the 2nd in league history. The Cutz took that game, Flores' first series loss in over two years. However, it was universally agreed Cutz/Nutz couldn't carry Sanchez/Steamers' jockstrap for several reasons.

Note: Around this time a new scoreboard was introduced; its' metal digits eliminated the chronic problem of "wind-altered scores" and has room to list at least the next 4 league MVP's.

On 9/16, basher Ledeit was named MVP in spite of playing only 19 of 34 games. Manning, Minor and Lynas took Gold Gloves, Sacramento's rebound from a miserable '05 earned him Most Improved Player, and finally, Bernal won the Cy Flores Award, the first man other than Rob Flores to ever win it. For the first time, however, the Ass-Backwards game was not played (this year the idea of adding costumes to the festivities was considered; obviously the first ABC game had to wait at least one year).

To end 2006, the league conducted an experiment for 2007: playing full-time on 90-ft. basepaths with tag-ups! The discovery of Miller Field briefly brought major excitement to much of the league's ranks--Lynas excepted--but the hopes of playing there FT soon fizzled out. After majority vote, Goodson was settled on as permanent BAB turf for '07--all but one game would be played there.

Though the league went to a formal schedule in '06 for the first time, it was largely ignored and as a result, BAB was only able to squeeze in 34 games before NFL season kicked off. A formal schedule did not reappear for the 2007 season, but the league prioritized early-season doubleheaders whenever possible hoping not to deceed 40 games for the third straight year. It paid off at season's end, when BAB completed its' 41st game.

In the offseason, BAB introduced a "Rookie Symposium", borrowing the NFL term for an exhibition game designed to let captains take a look at new players before drafting them. In the past, rooks just showed up before the first game of a series, and neither captain knew what he was getting. Also, series were reduced to Best-of-Five, and pitch limits were reduced to 5 as well.

In the early part of 2007, a pipeline of rookies debuted, helping BAB counter the prolonged absences/retirements of several veterans, most notably Chowdhury for the first 13 games. In fact, the league even enjoyed consecutive weeks of full-field matchups, something unheard of a season ago. After the distances at former home Columbus Park were imposed at Goodson Field, home runs shot back up to pre-2006 levels. Manning, DaRosa and Matsui were reborn as feared sluggers, while Ledeit became the 4th man to crank six out in one game in the midst of what was shaping to be a record-setting season...

...until he rattled the league when retaliating to a Matsui Smackboard Post by declaring "I dont care to play in this league anyway...it ain't real pitching it ain't real baseball" and responded to opportunities to apologize with very harsh, confrontational words to the venerable Yow and Flores. Just like that, the reigning MVP and 2007 favorite bowed out of BAB.

"If you honestly don't like it and can give a crap about the way we play , then be gone. This league ain't going nowhere." -- Flores

Unfortunately, that wouldn't be the last bit of controversy BAB would endure in '07--a series between DaRosa's Evil Reds and Brian Simas' Morning Wood at midseason proved to be very competitive. In fact, the competition ended up outweighing the fun. It began with Lynas' move to Modesto in April; despite his announcement his BAB career would continue, he ended up undrafted, and not all wished to grant the longtime vet entry into the series later on. Though understandably displeased, Lynas agreed to sit out the series to quell any infighting.

Also in that series, Matsui became the recepient of a number of very tough calls that raised his frustration level--in turn annoying those around him. Emotions finally boiled over in an ugly on-field argument. Though BAB's stars quickly made up, it was clear that the rulebook needed some offseason refinement to prevent future disputes.

More 2007 happenings: Although they managed to win for the 2nd time in 15 games, the Scrubs were again squashed by the All-BAD ASS Team; many would clamor for the traditional BAB opening series to become a sole exhibition contest....and not just the beleaguered Scrubs either. After defeating Matsui's Elephants 3-1 in April, Flores became the first captain to win 3 series. Later that month, a bad arm ended Manning's record consecutive-game streak at 113 dating back to 2004. He'd still participate as an umpire while his arm healed (as seen above right). After many unsuccessful tries, BAB finally gathered enough men to play an exhibition Mother's Day game 5/13; in that game Kuzmiak became the 1st to hit for the cycle in one inning. On July 1, the Ass-Backwards game resumed after a year's absence and Matsui defeated rookie rival John Cocoles to win the HR Derby.

Another jaw-dropping highlight came in a 7/8 exhibition when Stauffer, dead last in BAB with a .397 average coming in, went 9-for-9 with a grand slam & 11 RBI while hitting for the cycle! (in that game Andraesen hit 5 homers and didn't even approach the ballyhoo his teammate did.)

The annual banquet was held September 15, at Minor's home. In an extremely close vote, Matsui barely edged out DaRosa and Alvin Trinh (HR and AVG leader) for his 2nd MVP award, despite not only receiving less 1st-place votes than each of them, but also closing the year in an offensive and defensive funk, as DaRosa surged. Lynas, DaRosa and Bush captured Gold Gloves. Ruben Gonzalez won Rookie of the Year, Bernal captured his 2nd straight Cy Flores, and Kuzmiak raised his average over 100 points while nearly quintupling his HR total to be voted Most Improved Player.

New for 2008: in the wake of controversial fair/foul home run calls, a fair pole was introduced at Goodson Field that will hopefully reduce the difficulty of such rulings. Additionally, a manager no longer was allowed to delay game starts while awaiting his full roster; once both teams have enough men to play (5 or more), a stalling manager can be put "on the clock" by the opposing captain---meaning the game will start in exactly 10 minutes, whether he has his full contingent or not. The tactic was used a handful of times and was effective.

BAB enjoyed something of an offensive renissance in the first half of 2008, as runs scored and batting average soared to unreached heights. Part of that came from Flores and Yow breaking their seasons-long home run droughts---and not stopping at one---but a larger part of that was due to an increase in turnout. For the first time BAB was able to play full-field series games with regularity as upwards of 20 men began to trek to Goodson regularly, and those hitters took full advantage of the extra space and lesser fielders occupying that space. It wasn't a surplus of rookies making the difference either; the league only featured two full-timers.

First-time series captains stood out in 2008; the first 3 series consisted of Kuzmiak, Bush, Gonzalez, Kevin Holley, Cocoles and Dave Wagner all leading teams for the first time; Wagner's case being especially notable as not only was he was the first rookie allowed to be a series captain since the 2004 season, but his series would be the first in the best-of-5 era to go 5 games. (Cocoles ended up the winning captain of the historical series, however.)

One more theme of '08: innovative exhibitions. The turnout boon trickled down to the 2nd games of doubleheaders, allowing for such affairs as "Old School (players who joined prior to '04) vs. New School (all others)", another which pitted all players 30 years and up vs. everyone else, and yet another with the Whites taking on the Minorities. Perhaps the greatest innovation was the use of lemons, bags and cones as a fence in the absence of the standard one! The games were all competitive and most importantly, fun---an art sometimes lost in BAB.

As mentioned, BAB gave birth to its' first ever championship series in 2008. It came to fruition in the offseason during the winter meetings: the six players with the highest individual win totals would be alternately assigned to teams, and act as captains. They would then team up and draft all remaining players conventionally. Team A, later named the B-52's, consisted of Bush (who led with 18 wins) and Simas, while Kuzmiak and Manning were assigned to the other squad. Matsui and Gonzalez' matching records meant a coin flip was used to assign them, with Gonzalez becoming a B-52 and Matsui joining the team that would coin itself "Cavsuimiak". This series would adopt the best-of-7 format, rather than the now-customary 5.

Although Cavsuimiak looked to be far superior in print---entering the series its' 3 captains were the 3 top power hitters in the league and the next two were drafted, not to mention #3 RBI man Flores---the B-52's would give them all they could handle. They lost the series 4-1 but held 8th-inning leads in 3 of the losses and only dropped the decider on a major baserunning mistake by Gonzalez. Members from both sides commented positively on the groundbreaking series, the only true minus (depending on one's perspective) being Davis reverting back to his temperamental side, voluntarily ending his series--and season--prematurely following a tough Game 3 loss.

Statistical notes: Bush obliterated DaRosa's old record of 18 triples by legging out 21 three-base hits. Matsui touched home 150 times, 21 more than his own all-time record. Recording 209 hits helped, as he fell only 5 BA points and 7 doubles short of new records in those categories. Kuzmiak made quite the memory on Memorial Day---playing with one good arm, he socked 4 homers and drove in a new-record 17 runners, one more than his alleged lookalike Blackford had in 2004. Kuz also took aim at breaking Manning's long-standing homer record of 50 and had a shot in the last game, but settled for "only" 47 + a Home Run Derby victory. (left)

Flores put up the best production numbers he had in 5 years: six homers and 101 RBI. No BAD ASS had reached 100 RBI on single-digit homers since Yow and Flores himself each did so in 2003; that pair plus Manning formed the 200-career-game club, with Bernal set to join in his first game of 2009. Chowdhury finished over .500 for the first time in his six seasons.

Speaking of .500, Matsui drew his MVP Award percentage above that total with #3 in his 5 seasons, nearly doubling the point total of runner-up Bush. He and Yow, after a combined 11 BAB award seasons, were voted Gold Glovers for the first time ever---as was Bush for the 3rd time. Gonzalez' long power drought and league-high K total didn't prevent the ranks from recgonizing his rounded on-field growth, namely as a fielder, and voted him Most Improved. Furthermore, the 2008 Banquet (held at and around the residence of 3rd-year BAD ASS Andraesen) showcased the first non-Conrad Avenue resident to win the Cy Flores Award --- again, Matsui.

Rule changes for 2009: To eliminate controversy over balls that went past the fence---or not---in foul territory, the league voted to erect a fence in foul ground. Also, throws to the pitcher could only come from an infielder or buck short. The annual ABA/Scrubs series, long a target for reduction or even expulsion, would instead be revamped as a 3-game series---sans the "best of" qualifier. ABA would take Game 1, but the determined Scrubs made ABA pay for substandard defense and swept a 2/8 doubleheader. In spite of the format change, beating the ABA squad 2 out of 3 tasted no less sweet to the beleagured Scrubs.

Rainy forecasts effectuated consecutive game-free Sundays: a storm destroyed Goodson 2/15, and the threat of a similar storm 2/22 kept most of the league indoors...unnecessarily, as it turned out.

Around this time, BAD ASS Baseball was dealt a major blow when Flores, the well-respected BAB fulcrum and its' all-time games and hits leader, announced the 2009 season would be his final one as a regular player---he was leaving the West Coast behind to start a new life near Baltimore with the woman he loved. Rob promised to play whenever in the area for a visit, but the idea of losing possibly the most dedicated BAD ASS ever---one whose jokes, videos, fence delivery, tarp-hanging, toughness, fairness, resolution ability, and week-in, week-out presence could never be completely replaced---stung the league immeasurably. Flores would immediately surrender his co-commissioning duties, and after a vote, Bush was chosen to succeed him.

"There comes a time in a man's life when he has to make a decision that is easy to make when he follows his heart, even though what he leaves behind might tear his heart apart." -- Flores

Soon after, Rob would put his undefeated "Donkey" franchise to the test one last time in 2009; he'd defeated Chowdhury in 2005, Yow in 2006, and Matsui in 2007 to become BAB's only 3-time series winner. His latest foe would be Andraesen, making his managing debut. Andraesen had developed a reputation for Saturday night fun and shaky attendance but he took his role as captain seriously; his 6 home runs powered his Houdinis to a convincing sweep. Oh, lest we forget---the two captains put more than pride on the line for their series. Flores' loss meant honoring a special bet the next week---playing a game in a dress and lipstick!

As the year went on, Flores (above left), Manning, Yow and Matsui each recorded their 1,000th career hits, while BAB broke its' single-game combined runs record---using a whopping 25 combined home runs as the main ingredient of a 76-run afternoon in early April.

Soon after, Yow and Bernal decided to bring the long-discussed Steamers/Sanchez rematch to life, since Flores would not be around past 2009. All the remaining originals would stay on their original team (except Stauffer, who was traded before Game 1 of the series), and all players who did not participate in the original battle would be drafted normally. Sanchez/Steamers II produced no magic like the 2005 edition--what could?---as the Sanchez swept their rivals. The series highlight: not Bush's 3-HR game, or Minor's first home run in 5 years. Rather, a Game 4 wrestling match between Sanchez Wagner and Steamer Matsui on-field---the first such instance in league history.

Ironically, Flores---whose impending retirement is what spurred the rematch in the first place (Yow had preferred to wait until '10, an even 5 years)---ended up retiring mid-series as necessitated by a new job!

BAD ASS Baseball is only as good as its members. As long as everybody still loves to play, contributes financially and fields can be found, there is no cap on how long BAD ASS Baseball can thrive. "Fuck everybody who quit," says Yow. "I'm playin' BAD ASS forever."